Me Against the World

New shoes

2010-07-27T20:09:00.000-06:00

Just bought my first pair of converse all star shoes...i'm sold! by far the most comfortable pair of shoes i have ever worn in my life.

I'll keep buying these for a looooong time.

Blah

2010-07-13T21:29:00.000-06:00

I feel so icky today :(

I haven't written here forever, but I feel like I need to today. Not really sure why, I just feel really crappy :(

Obamacare and the Abortion Issue

2009-11-23T11:22:00.003-06:00

First off let me say that I am not a big advocate for either side of the argument, but I must say that abortion being included in the national health bill is a bad idea. Having an unwanted pregnancy is not a medical condition and should not be treated as such. Regardless of any social, economic or religious viewpoints of the unwanting parent, there is no medical justification for an abortion in that situation.

Now to clarify, I know there may be situations where an abortion is medically necessary to preserve the life of the parent. That's a different situation, but in general, abortion is not a health care issue.

The health care bill in general is, in my opinion, a joke anyway, but when it comes down to the arguments about abortion, I wish they would just make a decision already and stop complaining about it...take it out and leave it out. What idiot(s) put it in there to begin with?

Beef Log / Ohio

2009-08-28T17:08:00.001-06:00

Obama on Health Care

2009-08-25T16:23:00.002-06:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

What do you think?

September 25, 2008: Clusterf#@k to the Poor House - Dive of Death

2008-10-03T17:39:00.000-06:00

This is great!

Dean Baker

2008-10-03T07:12:00.003-06:00

The Economy

2008-10-01T06:37:00.003-06:00

I haven't posted in a very long time, but the economy is pretty bad lately and I think it deserves some discussion. I know that no one really reads this blog, but if someone does and is interested in the stock market and the economy, please let me know what you think.

Today the house votes on a "bailout" package for the banks that are in major trouble. I don't really see any major advantage to its passing, but that's just me. My taxes are high enough thank you. Besides...this $700 billion is like rewarding the criminals. Of course the banks want this to pass because they just got away with a $700 billion dollar mistake that they don't have to pay for...I do, you do and so do the rest of the tax payers that probably had little or nothing at all to do with the banks giving out bad loans.

Either way, the stock market could go up or down today...I have a feeling a drop is in the works today. I'm no market expert, but I've been watching the news, watching the stocks and trying my own personal best to figure out what the hell is going on...I just can't seem to figure it out.

What do you think?

Triumph of the Will

2008-05-24T23:14:00.001-06:00

I identify myself

2008-04-02T21:01:00.003-06:00

as a survivor of sexual abuse. I don't think I have posted on this topic in a very long time. In fact I haven't posted much of anything lately. But I feel that I just need to say some things. I won't be ranting or complaining, but instead just letting my brain empty out.

Lately I have been having a strong desire to help. I don't know if it's just something I feel because I'm bored, have less stress or something...I really don't know. I feel like I need to step up and do something to help the vulnerable. My question I guess is how? What should I do? I have a web site that is sitting dead, I never update it, but web sites are so passive, they do nothing. I want to be active and do something. Maybe join a task force on preventing child abuse, maybe change my web site so that it focuses on catching people and become more pro-active, rather than...well whatever it is now.

Maybe I'll do that.

Hmmm...I need some time to think on this one.

Word to the wise:

2008-01-22T22:45:00.000-06:00

Save your money...don't go to college...it's not worth it. TRUST ME!

Shit

2007-09-17T22:37:00.000-06:00

Brick wall

New York Trip Day 1

2007-09-09T00:36:00.000-06:00

So I'm on my way to New York with my mother. We are going to see my Aunt Roseanne who is sick. The trip so far has been pretty uneventful. It rained most of the trip, and we found a nice Day's Inn at a nice little town called Cloverdale. It's not the best hotel, but it's not dirty either...hey they have the internet so I can write this at least!

Things seem to be going well so far. I'm pretty tired though, I'm going to bed. More tomorrow I hope!

Oh hey a little multimedia! Here's our hotel room! Woo hoo!

Me Against the World

2007-08-24T22:30:00.000-06:00

Yup truly is the case.

For the first time in years I actually hate myself. I haven't felt this way since my freshman year in college and I know where that led. I don't think it will lead there again, but I really do feel like shit.

I can't find a job. I've been looking forever it seems and the only crap I can find is shit that pays $7.00 a hour. I can't bring myself to be a fucking door greeter at Walmart, what a fucking waste of a life.

I can't stand this shit...What am I doing wrong?

Depressed

2007-07-31T22:37:00.000-06:00

I really hate being depressed :(

9 Year old argues with his mother on xbox live

2007-07-27T02:43:00.000-06:00

This is hillarious!

RickRoll'D

2007-07-27T02:40:00.001-06:00

This video is funny. Watch the bartender...he's a little "too" excited about being in a music video.

This song used to be one of my favs as a kid. Odd to see it as a video.

Jobs

2007-07-25T19:48:00.001-06:00

Still can't get one.

I applied to Judevine and they turned me down too. This whole college thing was a big fucking waste of time and money. What a joke. I would have been better off just getting a job at fucking Taco Bell and staying there for the rest of my life.

This is stupid. I just applied to 11 different jobs tonight, and I am willing to bet not a single one of them will hire me. Not ONE. I'm sick of it. I REFUSE to work at a fast food restaurant. I would rather live on the fucking streets before doing that. I'm sick and tired of having the shitty jobs. I'm not getting into that habit. I refuse to be dependent on a fucking pizza place or taco place for money. I did that before and I couldn't stand it.

I'm sick of people breathing down my neck telling me to get jobs too. You know what? I FUCKING KNOW I NEED A JOB SO PISS THE FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

I don't know what to do. I'm going to go get applications for police departments this week and apply to them. They take forever to hire, but I don't give a shit. It's better than nothing and it will get people off my fucking back.

My mother and support

2007-07-17T10:24:00.000-06:00

My mother is still sick. Wrote this email to me and like everyone complaining about how she has no money, how she is in pain, how the doctor had to re-schedule the appointment with her etc... and then at the end she says "don't call I don't want to talk about it." WTF?

I really don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. I feel like if I would have just been smart and stayed in Stockton, I could have a job already, be working and helping her pay for her medication, but NO, I'm out in St. Louis with NO job and getting emails from her, I'm living in an apartment that I can't help pay for, everyone is breathing down my neck to get a job, I tell Cynthia I want to apply at police departments and she says "I didn't sign up to marry a cop," and I told Cynthia's mother that I still wanted to be a pilot and she said "Still? You don't want to do that the hours suck." You know what though? Fuck that! This is my life and I'm not going to make myself miserable just so other people are happy. I have done that my whole life. I want to fly, I'd enjoy being a police officer and so you know what? I'm going to shoot for that goal. It's not fair to me. I've been given the shitty end of the stick my whole god damn life and I'm sick and fucking tired of it. I'm tired of sacrificing things just to make others happy. No. Fuck that. If I want to go fly then I'm going to, if I want to be a police officer, than I will. It's a choice I should be allowed to make. I just wish people would fucking support me instead of telling me what I should think and bitching at me. I have enough fucking stress already I don't need any more.

DAMN!

Float Trip

2007-07-14T12:30:00.000-06:00

Okay so I'm headed on a float trip. Maybe I'll come back with a tan? Hmmm...I hate swimming, and I really hate the humidity here (not so much the heat)...oh well, maybe this will be okay?

Falling Apart

2007-06-30T02:24:00.000-06:00

My whole world is falling apart around me and I can't do anything about it. :(

I am going to lose my mind soon.

I need to cry.

Moving

2007-06-12T23:34:00.000-06:00

Okay...well I guess I'm moving on the 16th. I'm kinda scared. I've never lived on my own where I had to pay all the bills and crap for stuff. But I'm sure I'll be okay.

I think I also got a job working at Centre Point Hospital. But I won't know for a while. I have to go back on the 19th to find out.

Anyway...I'm in the process of updating my web site, but I just wanted to post a quick update.

I'm an official dA junkie

2007-05-20T05:54:00.001-06:00

So I'm officially addicted to dA. I have been out taking photographs, writing (rather morbid unfortunately) poetry and just loving myself and enjoying this time I have to myself. I've been letting my creative side show and I honestly don't think I've felt better in my life.

I hooked my webcam up to take pictures of my back yard and put it on dA for people to see. I've begun to meet people at dA who are awesome, and very creative people.

I have long been a dA lurker and wandered through the various photos, drawings, anime panels and stuff, and now I've decided to try my hand at it. I'm not anything special yet, but I love the site and love being able to create anything and put it up for people to see and comment on. It's awesome!

I think that for a long time I didn't allow myself to express anything. Not just emotions, but my wants, desires and loves in life. Being able to do this makes me feel so great. I can't wait to take more pictures, write more poetry, draw something (I want a tablet so bad!) anything!

God this is so much fun!

I love it!

Live picture of my back yard! LOL

2007-05-20T05:45:00.001-06:00

Haha so check this out, I was bored this morning and since dA asks for a url to a web cam I thought this would be fun. I dug my webcam out, dusted it off, and set it in my bedroom window facing outside. Cool huh? It updates all on its own as long as my computer is on.

I always think it's fun to spy on other people over the net so what the heck. Cool huh?

So...does anyone ever read this and art!

2007-05-15T02:03:00.000-06:00

I wonder...does anyone ever even read my blog? I mean other than myself, my girlfriend and some random search engine bots? I'd really be interested to know...like, when I first started using blogspot, people left comments much more often than they do now...maybe I'm just not writing interesting enough stuff?

Doesn't matter...anyway, I've been getting more and more into art and expressing myself. While I'm still not a great artist right now, I do spend a lot of time searching the internet for pictures, drawings or whatever that will stimulate some emotion in me. I've been having problems getting undepressed lately and I think a lot of it has to do with my inability to really show any emotion.

I did talk to Cynthia today and that did cheer me up, but I do have a feeling it's really just temporary. I need to get out of this. I think the art helps me express emotions and whatnot and in general just makes me feel better.

So...I've decided to start collecting pictures that cause some emotion (good or bad) within me and share them with the blogger community.

Here's the first installment (if you can call it that). BTW: if anyone who has made the art I show and doesn't want it on my blog, let me know and I can delete it...but I figure people wouldn't mind. But you never can tell.

For some reason lately I've been having a lot of bad vibes about my childhood coming up again. I didn't really have much of one and what I did was pretty abusive and sad. Much of it even my family doesn't know about. The dreams I've been having lately, the sick feelings and stuff...just really bother me. This picture really relays that to me. I saw it and instantly started to cry. You know that might be a bad thing in some people's minds, but to me it was actually a relief. It felt good to cry. It really did! I can't remember who the artist is for this one or where it came from, but boy did it really bring up some emotions. It felt good. I wish I could remember who did it so I could thank them.

Edit: I deleted the picture, no one complained, but I figure it wasn't fair.

Final Grades for Spring 2007

2007-05-12T14:07:00.000-06:00

Well here they are. Finally.
I guess I passed...now what?

Rejected

2007-05-09T02:51:00.000-06:00

Rejected for the last time by those who should understand the most. Fuck them!

Me As A South Park Character

2007-04-30T22:14:00.000-06:00

I think I did this before, but here's another one. Me as a South Park character.

Sleepy

2007-04-24T16:44:00.000-06:00

I'm soooooooooooooo sleepy [-)

I'm going to take a nap.

Can't Sleep

2007-04-24T01:32:00.000-06:00

I can't seem to sleep :(

I think it was the coffee I had a few hours ago, it's keeping me awake. I guess I should have expected that. I think it's kinda given me a headache too.

Yesterday, or the day before I found this cool picture on Deviant Art. I can't remember the photographer or the link to the picture, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind me mentioning his work or re-posting it here. If he does and finds out I can take it down. I looked forever at the web site and just can't find it again. If anyone knows who it is, let me know.

Anyway, it's now my desktop pattern. There's something unique about it. It says something to me. I'm not sure what, possibly the look of loneliness and feeling awkward. I dunno...whatever. Anyway I'm also feeling better. Not as depressed or pissed off. I dunno why, but I like it.

I really need to go to bed though.

Tired

2007-04-23T10:33:00.000-06:00

I'm so fucking sick and tired of school I can't wait to get out of here. All the bullshit, all the fucking people, all the idiots and freaks with guns blowing shit up. I'm tired of being judged for what I feel and believe and think. I'm tired of looking at all the shit in my apartment. I'm tired of the fucking dust and dirt, the clutter, the smell. I'm just fucking tired of life. I don't want to take on shit yet. I'm not prepared. This place is so fucked up already, why should I bother fucking it up more or trying to clean up the messes that other people left behind? No! Fuck that! It's not worth it. My energy is better spent elsewhere.

I'm depressed. Seriously. It sucks. Nothing is going right, nothing is how it's supposed to be. The world is going and chasing after me in a big fucking hurry and I don't want it to. I have 3 choices:
1. Speed up and take on the world with a short running start
2. Slow down or stop and just stare as the world flies by or
3. Check out and just leave.

#3 isn't going to happen, #1 and #2 are my only real choices and #1 takes a shit load of effort and energy, and right now I don't have it, but that doesn't matter. The world doesn't stop for anyone.
Fuck it. I give up. I'm so unhappy right now and no one would ever get it. Cynthia asks me "what's wrong?" What difference does it really make anyway if she knows or not? Sure I can tell her, but we would just end up fighting or she wouldn't get it. So I can either save my energy and not say anything or I can waste energy on talking and then fighting about something stupid. Not that we fight that much, but I just know it would happen, either that or I would end up feeling shittier about myself than I already do.

I'm going back to bed.

Research...Ugh

2007-04-11T08:37:00.000-06:00

We ran another participant in our research, still not seeing replication. It really bothers me that we can't do it. I don't think Cynthia is as into the research as I am. I'm really excited about it, I WANT replication, I WANT to do it right. You know what keeps going through my mind is that if we fail to replicate the data on our own, we should have stayed with the original idea of having two advisers. You know I'm not normally this hard on myself, but I'm really beating myself up over this. I want to replicate this research because I think it will somehow prove to me that I am capable of doing this stuff on my own and that I don't need a professor to help me every step of the way. I dunno, for some reason I feel like if I fail at this I might as well just give up. It's a really easy experiment, I just need to figure out what I'm doing wrong. This is too important to me to just blow off, because this might be the only research that I get to do until I apply to graduate school and if I can't show replication, they might look down on it. Why? Because it has been replicated so many times in so many different ways, but I just can't do it! ARGH! It pisses me off just thinking about it.

I have a headache...blah...

Grad School Letter

2007-04-09T01:49:00.000-06:00

Oh yea, forgot about this, maybe this has something to do with me being so pissed off today. I finally got to see it:

Nice huh? Now what?

Just need to post

2007-04-09T01:35:00.000-06:00

Ever feel really crappy? You know, like you just don't want to be around anyone and when someone talks to you you just want to say "SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!" I feel like that right now. Cynthia is sleeping so I don't have to worry about someone talking to me, but the TV is on and even it is driving me nuts.

I just got done writing to someone on E-bay, they were bitching about my shipping costs. I don't care, I took a dollar off of it and that's all I'm doing, I have to pay the ship the thing and my time is worth something you know. Jeeze. What a bite. Fucking people.

I feel really irritated today. It could be that I have been on a diet and lost 10 pounds in like a week and I gained a pound over the last two days and it's pissing me off. I wish I could just lose weight and look good. I look like shit you know. Ugh. I hate it.

You know I have these interests right, like Anime, and certain designs and games and sports and shows and stuff...and I feel like when I have these interests I get attacked by people. That really bugs me too. WTF? I'm not allowed to like things now? How annoying. I'll like whatever I want, I'm not hurting anyone.

I'm just really pissed off right now, I have been all day and I don't like it. I don't want to be here, I don't want to go to school now, what's the point?

Drawing Anime

2007-04-08T01:27:00.000-06:00

Check this picture out. This is a drawing by someone from Deviantart (I think). It's a pretty good drawing actually. I was thinking about trying to start drawing my own characters again. I toyed with it for a while, but never really got too into it. I've been looking around various web sites and stuff where people submit their "fanart" for their favourate cartoon or character. This was one of them. I think I'll start trying again, maybe I can start writing my own little manga story! Haha, I doubt it, but you never know right?

WHO and UNAIDS Lacks Logical Thought

2007-03-28T14:25:00.000-06:00

I hate to get up on my soapbox again when talking about circumcision, but the WHO and UNAIDS have got to get a grip on reality and stop giving people false hopes about circumcision being a cure-all for HIV.

The new article points out a very important fact, that circumcision reduces the chance of getting HIV by half. But what they fail to report is that this half is a half for every sexual act, not total, not over the person's life time, not even over the whole world. Circumcision, if it was compulsory, would not reduce the HIV infection epidemic by half. What it would do is delay its transmission. Here's the way it works. The odds of someone who is not circumcised getting HIV with one sexual act is 0.01%. Yes, that's right, you have a better chance of being the victim of a serious crime in your life than getting HIV from one sex act. So let's see, we have a 0.01% baseline, let's reduce that by 60% and we get 0.004%. Yea, that's a reduction, but not much of one. Let's look at it this way, let's assume you aren't circumcised and you have sex with someone who is infected, but you use a condom, guess what the chances are you will get HIV? 0.0005% Wow! What a difference! Let's see those numbers side by side:

Not circumcised risk: 0.01%
Circumcised risk: 0.004%
Condom use risk: 0.0005%

How about that? You know what's funnier too? Condoms are a hell of a lot cheaper than a circumcision and are much less painful.

Funny tidbit: The guy who supports mutilating all these people...his name is Kevin De Cock...I wonder if he's biased? Hmmm...Interesting thought isn't it?

Anyway, I'm not feeling too well and I need to wrap this one up, but I might have to come back and add some more later, the WHO and UNAIDS is just being stupid now. Why waste money on something that is 0.004% effective when you can do something cheaper and reduce it by even more? I really do wonder if there is some hidden agenda here.

E-Bay store a no-go :(

2007-03-24T01:00:00.000-06:00

So yea, none of my toy items sold except for one. I had lots of questions, lots of watchers and potential buyers, but nothing...now I'm stuck with a bunch of toys. The silly thing is that we found a bunch of old clothes in the trash from international students moving and guess what? They are selling! Go figure? Brand new toy, or outdated, ugly, dirty used clothing that someone has sweat in, picked boogers in, spilled food on and who knows what else...and they are selling. I feel like such an idiot. I was so confident in myself you know? I really was. I just can't seem to do it right. If it involves a financial risk, I always seem to take the worse possible route.

Oh well...my E-bay store closes at the end of the month...It was worth a shot I guess.

Porn for kids! Wait...what?

2007-03-22T17:57:00.000-06:00

Ahh yes, the good old days of teenagers needing to find ways around age checks and getting parental permission to join adult sites and chats are over. That's right! Judge Lowell Reed of Philadelphia has ruled that the Child Online Protection Act, a law that was created to hold web site authors and content providers of pornographic material accountable if children got a hold of it, is unconstitutional. Yes, you heard it here first folks, your preteen now can legally locate, view, download, print, copy and save all the pornography he/she wants! Of course copy right laws still apply, but whose really checking that when it comes to pornography?

Oh yes, evidently the law that could potentially fine content providers $50,000 and send them crying to jail for 6 months is no more. Judge Lowell Reed stated that "I may not turn a blind eye to the law... to protect this nation's youth by upholding a flawed statute, especially when a more effective and less restrictive alternative is readily available." What alternatives is he talking about? Filters and parental controls of course! Yes, now mother and father who barely know how to turn a computer on can purchase and set up software so they can, implement and monitor everything their child does. I wonder just how effective these filters really are? If anyone out there has tried them, let me know, I'd be interested to know.

So why leave it all on the parents? Does Lowell Reed really think parents have some super techno-gadget that can follow their kid everywhere and detect when they are doing something, where they are and what it is they are doing? Despite what most kids might think, it doesn't exist, and even if it did, only the super rich could probably afford it. But who cares about the rich kids right?

I should ask all of the parents I know if they use parental controls for their kids. I'm willing to wager that 75% or more don't even know what it is, and if they do, wouldn't know how to use it.

One of the big arguments that the content providers were screaming was that the COPA law was too restricting, and that it wasn't fair to hold content providers liable for what their consumers do. Basically the whole, "I just wrote the book about how to build bombs, I didn't expect anyone to do it," defense. I can see where they are coming from I guess. I mean, honestly, how much damage is done if a kid is browsing the net and sees Screech from Saved by the Bell getting a blow job? Actually...come to think of it, I think I would be damaged seeing that and I'm not a kid anymore. Either way, it's interesting to note that more people own televisions than have access to the world wide web. It's also more interesting to know that more American kids watch TV than browse the net, and even exceedingly more odd that we would make such a fuss over our kids seeing what is considered by some the most beautiful and sacred act that a human can perform...and I'm not talking about murders, rapes, stabbing, people getting shot at, explosions where millions die, and the local newscaster saying someone killed themselves at your kid's school that day. No, instead, we would rather make a big fit over shielding our kids from sex than from all of those things. Honestly...I think we should start shielding our kids from stuff on the TV and the internet. Hmmm maybe I can make a class to teach parents how to do that? And then I can charge a pretty penny for it! I smell money here.

Oh well, I think the law should have stayed. Kids don't need to be seeing that crap. While many will scream that it's art...I'd come right back and say "Seeing Britney Spears with the end result of 5 guys enjoying themselves on her face does not qualify as 'art'."

300

2007-03-20T18:01:00.000-06:00

I have got to see this movie!

Windows Vista

2007-03-19T21:36:00.000-06:00

I recently received my Dell Express Upgrade to Vista in the mail. If I would have known the "express" was anything but and the delivery time was any indication of the actual operating system I was receiving, I would have saved my money and time and just stuck with Windows XP Media Center edition.

While the new version of Windows does have a few interesting (although useless) features such as the Aero system and the very classy looking windows, the system is hardly conducive to running any high end applications that Windows XP could run before. I mainly use my computer to take notes in college and play games on the weekend. While Vista upgraded successfully and I didn't need to re-install any of my applications, the ability to run some of those applications fails.

Games

To test benchmarking I installed an old game titled Empire Earth. With Windows XP I regularly received 60 frames per second. With Windows Vista, I have to turn all of the game settings down to achieve 16 frames per second. I dared not even try running Half Life 2, or FEAR. I tried, and they took so long to load and the mouse was so laggy that I didn't even bother loading up a map or game to see what it would do.

Wireless Network Connectivity

My school offers free wireless internet in the school buildings. My Intel Centrino wireless card has been great, no issues at all. The software that was included with the wireless card that worked with XP doesn't work with Vista. Now it's impossible for me to connect to the school's wireless connection. I played around with it for hours and no help. All of the settings are correct, but it just doesn't connect. I'm going to see if there is any information on how to connect with Vista, but I'm not optimistic.

Word Processing

No issues at all! Amazing huh? A simple word processing program is all that seems to work without issues. Terrible.

I'm thinking about just deleting Vista and stocking it on the shelf and returning to XP. Anyone else have any stories to share about their issues?

Some people make me sick

2007-03-13T09:40:00.000-06:00

Some people make me sick, I was at this guy's house and saw his kid. Just goes to show you never know about people.

According to a news release from the Cedar County Sheriff's Office, the office and the Division of Family Services received reports of child molestation Thursday, March 1. An investigation ensued, and as a result, Michael D. Pullin, 34, El Dorado Springs, was arrested and charged on a Cedar County warrant for three counts of class B felony child molestation in the first degree, by subjecting a child younger than 14 years of age to sexual contact.

Pullin remains in custody in the Cedar County jail in lieu of $100,000 bond.

I hope this guy rots in prison forever.

Zach's Toy Box!

2007-03-12T15:45:00.000-06:00

Check out all the toys I got! I'm starting to collect them. Some of these things are worth some money already! I'm thinking about selling these things too, evidently there's some money in it :) I'm all about the money you know.

Ok so I lied...

2007-02-28T23:41:00.000-06:00

Ok so I lied and we didn't put anything up on ebay yet. Just didn't out of laziness and the fact that spring break is next week so we wouldn't be able to ship stuff out to people anyway, we will probably do it after spring break.

In other news the research project I intended to do this semester is still screwy, the forms still haven't gone through HSRB and my professors are being weird about it all. At this rate it will never get done.

I've also been asked to create a presentation for a sexual assault class based on my own abuse as a child. I always wanted to be famous, but this is kinda weird...Not exactly how I planned on being famous.

Cynthia and I are also creating a token economy type of system to help her brother out. Won't say much about that just because of privacy stuff, but yea, that's more stuff to do. I'm a pretty busy person it seems!

ALSO, a tornado nearly came through Warrensburg tonight! Crazy huh? It was actually kinda cool, but didn't last long and was a pretty big let down, limbs fell down and a few trash cans blew over, but the winds were pretty strong for about 5 minutes or so, probably less than that, but it was a pretty good wind.

Cynthia also found the Reese's hearts we got for valentines day (yum!) and my income tax refund check for $28.00! Woo hoo! Now if I could just find my Behavior Modification book I'd be happy.

E-bay

2007-02-27T08:42:00.000-06:00

Today is the day.

Cynthia and I found a ton of clothes and just stuff that the international students here at my school threw away because they can't take them back home. We found them and today I'm going to take pictures and put them up on ebay to make some money. My guess is that we have $150 worth of stuff at least. There was actually a really nice leather jacket in there too, amazing what people throw away isn't it?

New Template!

2007-02-25T16:39:00.000-06:00

Naruto rules!

I love this new template. It was actually pretty easy to make too, haha. Google did it all, I just found the picture.

I haven't posted here in a long time, but besides the new template I also got engaged to some stinky girl! I'm not sure I even like her ;)

Hillarious Car Commercial!

2007-01-08T12:50:00.000-06:00

I nearly died when I watched this commercial. Check it out:

Dr. Seuss

2007-01-05T15:46:00.000-06:00

You know, when I was a little boy, I used to read Dr. Seuss books all the time. Even today I find his little characters to be quite amusing and cute. My girlfriend often accuses me of acting too much like a child. I suppose sometimes shes right, but today, while I was getting ready to check up on something online my Google homepage opened. I scanned the news for the day and I also checked out the quote of the day. Today the quote happened to be by Dr. Seuss:

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
- Dr. Seuss

I have never thought of Dr. Seuss as being a great philosopher but, I must say...well said! I might act childish at odd times sometimes, but I don't think I'll be giving up my video games or cartoons any time soon. Dr. Seuss has a point. The world is so serious, we live in a place where bad news is the standard. We work all day and get stressed out and then come home and watch the news about some kid being shot in downtown L.A. or some celebrity is on trial for rape. I think playing SimCity, racing cars, and getting lost in computerized fantasy lands is a good thing. And when we turn the TV on...how about we stop getting lost in all of the bad news (I'm not saying it's not important to know what is going on in the world) but how about instead, or at least for a while, we also step into the world of South Park, Looney Toons, or even something as silly as Ed Edd and Eddy. It might be good for you :)

Internet Neutrality

2007-01-04T22:27:00.000-06:00

Can't see the controls to play the video? Right click on the black video space and select "Play/Pause" from the menu to play it.

Let's keep the internet equal!

Semester Grades

2006-12-20T23:12:00.000-06:00

Sweet! Gotta love these:

Valu Diff:Dscvrng Common Grnd -- A
Ballroom Dance I -- A
Research Design & Analysis I -- A
Physiological Psychology -- B
Spec Proj Psych -- U

The U is because I didn't finish the work, the grade will be posted after I do next semester.

Circumcision and HIV

2006-12-17T04:01:00.000-06:00

I have been reading stuff online lately that circumcision has been shown to be some God send to be the new way to fight HIV. I just have to take the time to say this is completely stupid. The research does show that when you have two groups of people, one circumcised, the other not, that the circumcised group acquires HIV less often than the group that isn't circumcised. But they both still have people who get it. Why? Because while circumcision might reduce the chances of getting HIV on a statistical level, you still get it. You see the problem is that people in Africa are absolutely unaware of how HIV spreads. Sure they know it spreads through sex, but they still go around sleeping with anything that breathes. Cutting off everyone's foreskin will not make any difference, they are still going to sleep with tons of people and eventually they will still all get HIV. It's silly.

So what do you do? How about we try to get people to stop being so unfaithful and stop sleeping with all sorts of people! What a concept! Instead of spending all this money on circumcising people, how about we spend it on trying to help them understand one simple concept "if you are having sex with a ton of people, you will eventually get AIDS. Period." That's just the way it is. It's so sick to hear that all these organizations are going over there and circumcising all these people and sending them on their merry way, hoping they don't get AIDS. How stupid. How wrong! How dare we allow these groups to go over there and tell people that don't know any better that circumcision is a miracle cure for HIV, get it and you wont get AIDS! Wow I'll run out and do it to myself tomorrow it's so amazing...what a bunch of crap. Circumcision is abuse, especially when you are using it to give people false hope and lying to them about HIV and ignoring the behaviours that these people are performing. Quite sad if you ask me, and very wrong.

White & Nerdy

2006-11-21T11:58:00.001-06:00


"Weird Al" Yankovic's music video from his new album "Straight Outta Lynwood" (in stores now!)

Religion

2006-11-21T00:57:00.000-06:00

So lately I have been thinking about religion. Heavy subject I know. It's been quite a while since I attended church or took communion (bad Catholic I know). I used to be really into it, religion that is, but lately I seem to have completely lost all desire to be a part of any particular organized religion with a strict set of rules.

Religion is a hard one to grasp isn't it? You really have no proof that says what you believe is actually true, yet you still believe it. Blind faith is what they call it I guess. You are just supposed to accept religion without really questioning it too much. In fact, some people even say questioning religion in and of itself is a sin. I dunno...it's a tough one for me. On one hand I would love to believe that there is something out there, on the other it's really hard for me to follow a belief or a set of beliefs that make me feel terrible about myself. I wonder if there is a correlation between strict religious affiliations and alcoholism? Hmmm, anyway, that's irrelevant, but what is relevant I think is that I currently feel faithless. That's not to say I don't believe that there might be something out there, but I feel that I don't belong to anything that is particularly organized, and even though I hope there is something out there, I still don't know for sure...I'm skeptical. I have gone to church since feeling this way. I used to get really excited and feel great after going, but I kinda wonder if I feel better only because I don't feel guilty about going...I fulfilled my obligation and now I don't need to worry for another 6 days. I dunno...

It's quite funny to me though...so many people are so "sure" about their faith, and I thought I was one of those people only a year ago, but now...I just don't know. There is just so much to consider and so much to think about when it comes to what to believe.

Was Jesus a man and only a man? Was Muhammad really sent by God? Was there really an arc? If so, where is it? How come God stopped talking to his people? Did he just give up? Is there more than one god? Is there a god at all? Are the Jews right? Are the Christians right? Are the Buddhists right? Maybe the atheists are smarter than we think. Too many questions and no one can give me any real answers. Should I continue to go to church and feel guilty for not going when I feel sick, should I worry that I'm not worthy enough to accept communion? Is baptism really that important or is it just a quick bath in front of a bunch of people? Is circumcision really something that should be done for religious reasons? Can water really be holy? I don't know, I just don't get it.

I think I need some time to reflect on this more deeply. Any comments or guidance would be much appreciated.

The Magic Inside

2006-11-16T23:51:00.001-06:00

I always thought you had an extra something
A Magic deep inside
A heart so full of pride

You've lived a life that's thrown some curves
But you stood firm and true
The past is what's behind you
Up ahead, your future is new

Experiences built the man you are
Life's lessons left its scars
But you decide which roads to take
Where they lead and how far

This man you have become today
So much more confident than the boy
Will make the world sit up, take notice
Which fills me up with great joy?

I always thought you had that extra something
A magic deep inside
A soul that makes you strong and proud
A heart so full of pride

Love, Mom
11/4/06

First they came...

2006-09-09T19:40:00.000-06:00

They came first for the Communists,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics,

and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me,

and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984)

Internet Radio

2006-08-10T01:55:00.000-06:00

I'm thinking about starting my own internet radio talk show. I know that might sound kinda odd, but I think it would be fun. I am a pretty political person and the times that we live in now are pretty political with Iraq, the war in the Holy Land, the recording industry going after people...there's tons to talk about and broadcasting over the internet is free! And it's actually not too difficult to do.

Maybe a certain stinky girl could be my co-host every now and then? Hmmm, I wonder what she would want to talk about? Stinky stuff probably.

I was going to post a really funny ad that I saw in Rolling Stone, but I don't have my scanner hooked up to this computer and I'm too lazy to do it now. I'll post it later.

Best YPP Break Ever!

2006-07-11T11:57:00.000-06:00

Those of you who do NOT play YPP (or even know what it is for that matter) won't appreciate this, but this is awesome.

Poor Kitty!

2006-07-11T11:49:00.000-06:00

Look what happened to my kitty! Ouch!

Amazing

2006-07-03T14:41:00.000-06:00

I know that things like this probably seem more important to those who realize them, but I wanted to share this.

This song by Aerosmith is absolutely amazing (no pun intended) and I just wanted to dedicate it to my girl, who is very amazing. This is my new favourate Aerosmith song now :)

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through the pain

And when I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I thought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
It's amazing
That when the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
For the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey - not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen
To all that righteous talk
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay alive

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
It's amazing
That when the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
For the desperate hearts tonight

"So, from all of us at Aerosmith to all of you out there, wherever you are. Remember- the light at the end of the tunnel may be you. Goodnight!"

My Doorbell

2006-06-10T13:15:00.000-06:00

This song is way cool sounding, I don't know why though...

I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Yeah, I been thinkin' about my doorbell

Oh, well

Well, women and children get kisses
Not the men in my life, I know
And I been callin' a Mister a Misses
I respect the art of the show
Take back what you said, little girl
And while you're at it, take yourself back too
'Cause I'm tired of sittin' here, waitin'
Wondering what you're gonna do now, what you're gonna do about it

I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Oh, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Yeah, I been thinkin' about my doorbell

Oh, well

You don't seem to come around
Push your finger and make a sound
You don't seem to come around
Knock, knock, did you knock it down?

Oh yeah

Make a sound, and I'll make you feel right
Right at home, yeah
Yeah, right at home, yeah

You know you got me waitin' in pain
But how come it's so easy to you?
You don't strike me as the type to be callous
But your words seem so obtuse
But then again, I know you feel guilty
And you tell me you want me again
But I don't need any of your pity
I got plenty of my own friends, they're all above me

I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when you gonna ring it?
When you gonna ring it?
Oh, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell, when they gonna ring it?
When they gonna ring it?
Yeah, I been thinkin' about my doorbell

Oh, well

They don't seem to come around
Push the finger and make a sound
They don't seem to come around
Paint it green, they'll knock it down

Oh yeah

Make a sound, and I'll make you feel right
Right at home
Right at home

[Repeat Chorus to fade]

Everclear + Fire = Fun

2006-05-20T01:59:00.000-06:00

I bought myself some everclear. It's like really strong liquor (alcohol more like it) and I could never bring myself to drink it. So what better thing to do with it than set it on fire! Check this video out! How cool is that?

You know what's really scary though? Some people actually drink that stuff! How would you ever be able to live after doing that? This stuff is harsh. After putting it in your mouth it goes numb for about 15 minutes or so unless you spit it out or swallow it rather fast.

Don't try this at home kiddies! I am a self-trained amateur haha.

Stupid relatives

2006-05-11T22:00:00.000-06:00

My uncle is harrasing me now to come get my stuff from his trailer. I guess I'll call him tomorrow and tell him he can bring it. I don't plan on mowing his grass though, I'll just pay him when I get paid this week from my last week at the Lighthouse. I won't have time to mow his grass, besides I don't want to anyway. He can go mow it himself, lazy bastard. Besides, I have more important things to do than mow grass.

I'll let you guys know how that goes...prepare your seats for drama...I promise it.

First day of work

2006-05-11T21:58:00.000-06:00

Piece of cake. Today was so easy it was rediculous! I loved it! Those people I work with are so great. The girls there are so kind, Aubrey and the guys in the kitchen are way cool and that makes the day go by quick. I love it.

I still need to get another job soon, I'm just not sure where and what times I want to work. It will probably be mornings :( ick, I hate working in the morning. But if I have to I will.

Spring 2006 Grades

2006-05-11T10:25:00.000-06:00

They are okay. Acceptable, but I could have done better.

Zachary Weber

Course

Description

Hours

Grade

PSY 4730

COG-BEH INTRVN

3.0

CJ 4403

SEXUAL ASSAULT

3.0

EASC 3112

ASTRONOMY

3.0

CJ 4703

INTRNTL JV JST

3.0

Semester Totals

	Undergraduate	Graduate
Hours Attempted	12.00	0.00
Hours Earned	12.00	0.00
Grade Point Average	3.00	0.00

Job

2006-05-10T13:06:00.000-06:00

I got one! Wow that was easy for this town. So I got one job now...I need one more and I'll be happy.

Delivering pizzas! Woo hoo! Here I come!

Cognitive Final

2006-05-04T14:54:00.000-06:00

Ouch! That was a hard final! It was comprehensive and the history portions kicked my ass! I should have studied for it more! I thought I knew it better than I did. The concepts I completely get, but the history?! Ouch!

He was throwing out some of the questions too, I certainly hope that helps me in the end. But I think I still got the B...at least I hope so, I'll cry if I don't!

Sexual Abuse Survivor Guide Book

2006-05-04T11:08:00.000-06:00

I think this summer I am finally going to start my book. I've been throwing the ideas around in my head for a while of how I want to do it. I'd like to apply many of the things I learn in my classes to the book, and will definately use my connections in the ABA and the various other areas of Psychology that I have to come up with something good. I'm considering asking Professor Lundervold to review and edit it for me, but I know he's busy, so I might have some of my friends do it and a professor in the department as well. I already know a few people in my lab that might be interested in reviewing it for me. I think I'm also going to have some survivors read it before I decide to try to submit it to a publisher. They might have some ideas on how to improve it, or hell, to see if it even works!

There are a few more books I want to read on CBT and CR before I decide to write anything. But I've already kind of gotten an idea of how I want to do this. I know I will include what is working for me in the book as well as other ideas just in case what works for me doesn't for others.

Anyone know of a good publisher I can talk to? :) Or anyone interested in reviewing it when it's done? Haha, I'm just kidding, I wouldn't ask someone to come out and say they are survivors on a BLOG! I mean, come on! But anyway, I think this is a good idea, and as far as I know would be one of the few (as in less than 5) books on how to apply CBT and CR to yourself after being a survivor of sexual abuse. (I still hate that word survivor by the way.)

Anyway, gotta go, my virus scanner kicked on and it's making my typing delayed and that annoys the crap outta me. Plus I have to study for my finals some more, I was just taking a break.

Courtesy

2006-04-29T15:35:00.000-06:00

What happened to genuine favours? How come everything is always this for that? Can't someone just be nice and say "I'll do this for you" and leave it at that? Ugh.

Grade Predictions

2006-04-26T15:53:00.000-06:00

I've crunched some numbers, and while I'm not 100% happy with my grades this semester...they are acceptable.

I still have to take finals, so these could change, but this is my prediction this semester:

Sexual Assault - B (If I get less than a B on the final, it will be a C...go figure, who would have guessed I would be on the border between a B and C for a class that I know tons about?)
Astronomy - A (I might get a B though, depending on my final grade. I can only miss like 2 or 3 questions on the final to get the A, but it's take home...I think I can do it.)
International Juvenile Justice - B Guaranteed, the final is optional and even if I got 100% on the final, I'd still have a B, so that one I'm positive of.
Cognitive Behavioural Interventions - B, pretty sure about this one too. I kept meaning to do extra credit for this class, but I kept forgetting! Ack! But that's okay. It might only show up as a B on my transcript, but I do know it's a high B. :)

Another cool bit of news -- I got a certificate of appreciation today from the Lighthouse :) Okay, all of us got one...but still...It's kinda neat!

Looks like my GPA this semester will be 3.25 (If I get the A in astronomy and the B in Sexual Assault). But it's all good :)

OH MY GOD! I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH THIS MAN!

2006-04-24T15:38:00.000-06:00

Fred Phelps

I think I'm going to puke.
This guy is 100% Grade A - pure, HATE. Makes me sick to think I celebrate my birthday the same time he does...I'm officially changing my birthday to November 14!

Yahoo Answers

2006-04-17T21:33:00.000-06:00

I've been bored lately and found this cool way to waste my time! Basically I go to the Yahoo Answers page and just answer people's questions. It's kinda fun! Here are some questions I recently answered: What do you think?

Visit Yahoo! Answers

Here's Your Scarlet Letter: "P" for Pervert

2006-04-05T08:21:00.000-06:00

Brian Doyle

I love the Polk County Sheriff's Department. They just keep racking these perverts up don't they? It's like shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun. This guy is a government official too. What's ironic about it? He worked for the Department of Homeland Security...I wonder what kind of training Bush is giving these guys? Maybe the White House is next. Anyone keeping track of the numbers yet? I'll do it, with the last national bust, that makes Perverts 0 -- Good Guys 28.

See ya in Hell Doyle!

CNN Story

I'm listed!!!

2006-04-04T08:50:00.000-06:00

I'm listed in the ABA directory! Woo hoo!
http://www.abainternational.org/sub/membersvcs/membership/directory/abadetail.asp?memid=22769

Boondocks Quote

2006-03-31T01:51:00.000-06:00

"It's like goin' to Heaven and findin' God smokin' crack!"
-Riley Freeman (Boondocks)

New Independant Study Book!

2006-03-30T21:20:00.000-06:00

I finally talked to my Behaviour Assessment instructor and we decided on a textbook for me to read for independant study (the chapters left over in my current book isn't enough). It's actually gotten great reviews! I'm so excited about it! I hope it's as good as the others I've read! I think I'll order it early so I can read it over the summer! Woo hoo!

Sleepy!

2006-03-28T23:41:00.000-06:00

I'm so sleepy!

I'm going to bed!

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Boondocks - I Am...

2006-03-28T17:46:00.000-06:00

I am the stone that the builder refused
I am the visual, the inspiration
That made Lady Sing the Blues...

I'm the spark that makes your idea bright
The same spark that lights the dark
So that you can know your left from your right...

I am the ballot in the box, the bullet in the gun
The innerglow that lets you know
To call your brother sun...

The story that just begun
The promise of what's to come
And I'm a remain a soldier 'til the war is won

Judo Flip, chop chop chop
Judo Flip, chop chop chop
Judo Flip, chop chop chop
Judo Flip, chop chop chop

~Asheru

Sudoku Question

2006-03-25T21:54:00.000-06:00

I received this comment on my blog and thought I would try answering it...

John Francis English said...

Hi

I am looking for the answer to a question re Sudoku.

If I get to a part of the puzzle where there are no longer any unique numbers in a column row or box, do I have to guess which of 2 numbers in any cell is correct, and try from there?

I did this and hit a wall, so I have started again with an alternate guess.

If I am not permitted to guess, then how do I move on to the next phase?

Stuck Solver.

9:28 PM

I wouldn't take my word on this because I don't solve sudoku puzzles (they make my head spin) but I enjoy creating them. I think I know what you mean but I'm not really sure. Are you talking about the puzzle I created or a different one? Very often my puzzles will have multiple answers which is okay but can make them harder to solve because people get "stuck" falsely. Since I don't solve my own puzzles in a conventional manner I can't tell you if a puzzle has that problem or not.

My suggestion would be to guess, or put all of the possible numbers in the boxes that are blank and as you continue to solve the puzzle you mark off the ones that aren't available anymore for that particular box.

Maybe my girlfriend will see this and leave a comment here to try to answer your question. Good luck!

iTunes Sucks

2006-03-23T11:16:00.000-06:00

So Apple thinks they have it made hey? Well they don't. Their service sucks! It's not really Apple's fault though, its the stupid RIAA, they have this DRM system encoded into their music files (thats Digital Rights Management for those that don't know) that only allows you to play the song in iTunes (which sucks as a player and drains your computer's system resources) and you have to be connected to the internet to "authorize" your computer to play each song! So let's see, what can you do with your music from iTunes? Not much. It seems that most people can overcome the DRM by simply burning a CD with iTunes then ripping the CD. It's really easy to do that, but it's just a pain in the ass! When will the RIAA learn that no matter what they do it's not going to work? If you piss your customers off they are going to just flat out steal the crap instead of trying to do the right thing and pay for it. But who wants to pay for something that you have to spend 20 minutes trying to "fix" so that you can play the music in something other than iTunes? It's kinda like you buy a car but can only drive in on the dealer's lot. What a waste of time and money.

See ya iTunes *clicks on uninstall*

junIor

2006-03-22T23:03:00.000-06:00

I was watching CNN (Larry King Live) when Macaulay Culkin was on the show. It seems that he wrote a book, so I went to Amazon and bought the book. I have to say that it let's you into a side of this guy that you have never seen before or even imagined. I never would have imagined that his live would have been even remotely similar to mine, but some of the thoughts and ideas that he has written in this book could have easily been written by me. Although probably not as poetic or "funny." Laughter is a good way of making yourself live longer you know?

Anyway, back to the book. It's actually fantastic...full of little drawings, poems and short stories that grab your emotions and make you laugh one second, make you cry the next and by the end of the book you feel as though you have gotten a chance to peer into the soul of a very confused, angry at times and heart broken individual. I already want to read it over again. Not because it has a plot or characters (which it really doesn't) or because it has a moral (which it really does buried deep in text), but because it actually says something to me. I know this might sound a little hokey but it really did light something in me. I can't explain it...compassion, understanding, the deep desire to give this guy a big hug and say "you aren't alone in some of this." It's odd. You know in some way I really think the book has inspired me. Maybe I'll try to talk to someone I haven't talked to in forever...it might be helpful.

Great book! You should read it if you get the chance.

Here is a excerpt of a poem from his book. I'd totally dedicate this one to my girl, but of course I didn't write it, but it was just one of the many parts of the book that really spoke to me.

I Know You Don’t Love Me
-Macaulay Culkin [junIor]

I know you don’t love me but…
Can I sit in your chair?
It looks so comfortable way over there.
I won’t break it I swear.
I just need a place to sit down in this hot winter air
So can I sit in your chair?

I know you don’t love me but…
Can I read your book?
Can I take a look?
I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook.
I just needed a little hook.
So can I please take a look at your book?

I know you don’t love me but…
Can I sleep in your bed?
Because you see, my bed is uh…dead.
I’ll sleep at the foot, and you at the head.
It’s good for the blood, or so I have read.
So can I sleep with you in your bed?

I know you don’t love me but…
Will you dance with me?
Don’t worry, no one will see.
I know the electric 1-2-3
So will you make me that lucky?
Will you give one little dance to me?

I know you don’t love me but…
Will you hold my hand?
Just tell them I’m with the band.
It doesn’t have to be grand.
Or I can just sit while you stand,
If you don’t want to hold my hand.

I know you don’t love me but…
Can we be together?
And I don’t mean forever.
It’s just that now is slowly becoming never.
And I don’t want to be without,
When it’s time to go to the place that is better
So can we be together?

I know you don’t love me but…
I love you.

BUSTED!

2006-03-20T17:14:00.000-06:00

I think I might have busted a paedophile!

Long story, but I can't really talk about it considering it is now an ongoing investigation. As soon as I am allowed to talk about it, I will.

This is so amazing! I have never felt better about myself than I do right now. I hope this guy learns his lesson.

Child Porn Ring Busted! Perverts 0 -- Good Guys 27

2006-03-15T22:33:00.000-06:00

Today twenty seven different people who were arrested for child pornography manufacturing and distribution over the internet were indicted. According to FBI reports, there were more than twenty seven involved in the ring, but "most" have been arrested. No additional information on the identity was given by the FBI of course since the case is still being investigated.

The images of child pornography were distributed using internet chat rooms and instant messenger services that are freely available online. In addition portions of the pornography were obtained using currently available peer-to-peer software.

The web site that hosted the chat, titled "Kiddypics & Kiddyvids" has been shut down according to the FBI.

The agents who infiltrated the chat room stated that it was basically "molestion on demand." A live internet web cam of an adult male sexually abusing children, and in one case the victim was under the age of eighteen months. Four others under the age of twelve were also portrayed on the web site and chat.

The chat room contained "some of the worst possible types of child pornography there is" according to FBI agents who performed the operation. While the web site did not generate any money for the owners, the owners of the chat were very careful in selecting those who could participate in the chat. This, obviously, didn't stop the FBI from infiltrating the group and nabbing twenty seven different participants.

Samborn, one of the agents, stated that the security on the web site and the live streaming video of child abuse made it unique.

The host of the chat who went by the name "G.O.D." was arrested in his Clarksville, Tennesee home on March 6th. The Justice Department identified Jason Wilson of Milton, Florida; Michael Burns of Reno, Nevada; Kenneth Fisher of Charlotte, North Carolina; Marcel Deslauriers of Longueuil, Quebec; and Mill Park of Victoria, Australia as administrators in the chat.

According to CNN:

"Most of the 27 people named in the indictments are identified only by their screen names:

•G.O.D. of Clarksville, Tennessee
•Acidburn of Bartlett, Illinois
•Big_Daddy619 of Edmonton, Alberta
•ax9572 of London, England
•Entity of Manchester, England
•Yyydbh5182 of North Aurora, Illinois
•Behrplus_925 of Aurora, Illinois
•Darkhorse of Kalamazoo, Michigan
•Wharfrat of Reno, Nevada
•CuLeX of Milton, Florida
•A_School_Teacher of Oakfield, New York
•Lord_Newbie of Charlotte, North Carolina
•Alex1 of Sebring, Florida
•Nemo of Phoenix, Arizona
•BlueDragon of Ashgrove, Australia
•Sir_CP of Victoria, Australia
•DarcBiocode of Stafford, Australia
•LoneWolf_95 of Brandon, Manitoba
•Henry40Babe of Kingston, Ontario
•Lumberjack of Woodbridge, Ontario
•10_boy_canada of Selkirk, Manitoba
•Fydei of Longueuil, Quebec
•Msg4Homemade of Courtenay, British Columbia
•LordVader of Prince Georgia, British Columbia
•Msg2Trade of Toronto, Ontario
•HumbleDuchess of Osceola, Iowa
•Geograns of Kapolei, Hawaii"

I might start paroozing chats again to find these sickos and report them. Ugh, they make me so sick.

Sudoku Answers

2006-03-15T12:21:00.000-06:00

Here are the answers for the last puzzle. If I have time I'll make the next one soon.

Great Commercial

2006-03-06T02:28:00.000-06:00

I saw this commercial on TV today and it sent chills through my body. I had to go find it after I saw it. There are others too, I'll post them later if I can.

Change in values?

2006-03-05T15:42:00.000-06:00

I was looking at TV Guide online to see what was on, and I saw this and cracked up...shows just how much of a change in values Americans have about TV shows since the 50s and 60s.

Teens Groomed for Prostitution

2006-03-04T14:57:00.000-06:00

I saw this on the CNN home page and couldn't believe my eyes! I knew this kind of stuff happened in the USA, but I never expected CNN or anyone to ever bring such a horrible world to light.

Thank you so much CNN!

I hate bigots and frats

2006-03-03T13:47:00.000-06:00

Why does this not surprise me?

For Immediate Release

AKL’s National Organization
Suspends Campus Chapter

WARRENSBURG, MO (March 3, 2006) – Affirming its commitment to providing an inclusive multicultural campus environment, Central Missouri State University today announced that Alpha Kappa Lambda fraternity is being suspended by the group’s national fraternity.

The suspension follows an investigation that began in response to allegations that a campus student group held a party in which participants mocked the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday by bringing to life stereotypes of the black community. The university launched an ongoing investigation into the matter through its Student Affairs division. It contacted the fraternity’s national headquarters after receiving evidence that linked the local chapter to the incident. In accordance with university policy, CMSU may consider additional disciplinary actions against some students involved.

“As a campus, we are committed to providing a healthy multicultural environment for all of our students. We expect the actions of our student groups to be consistent with this goal,” said Walt Hicklin, interim vice president for student affairs. “Hopefully, lessons will be learned, and this will be a valuable growing experience for our students.” He praised AKL’s national headquarters in Indianapolis for its assistance in the investigation.

Suspension means that the fraternity will no longer be permitted to participate in campus events as a social organization. As an administrative measure, the university is also moving fraternity

members from the Fraternity Complex to other residence halls on campus.

AKL’s national organization has started the process to revoke the campus chapter’s charter. To do so will require a vote of all other AKL chapters in the country. The national chapter will provide due process to the campus chapter, giving it an opportunity to appeal the decision.

Jeremy Slivinski, executive director of AKL’s national fraternity, said, “The local chapter’s actions are inconsistent with the national chapter’s principles and activities, and we will not tolerate this type of behavior. We express sincere apologies to any group that was affected by the actions of this chapter.”

--more--

Keyon Gaskin, a former St. Louis resident who serves as Student Government Association president, said he is “pleased that the university didn’t take this (the investigation) lightly and handled it efficiently and effectively. The stance and the action the university has taken make the campus a more comfortable environment for everyone.”

# # #

This weeks Sudoku puzzle!

2006-03-02T22:10:00.000-06:00

I've decided to try to post a sudoku puzzle once a week!

I've shrunk it down so it will fit. Click on it to make it full size and print it! Give it a try! Next monday I'll post the key and then another puzzle sometime that week. :) For the girl!

Stupid Americans

2006-03-02T20:11:00.000-06:00

Get this: Americans are better at listing the five characters to the left than they are at listing the five freedoms given to them by the constitution of the United States! I mean, can you believe that?

According to this recent survey conducted by a museum some of these stupid Americans listed "freedom to own pets" as one of the rights! Are you kidding? Did these people sleep through all those years in school?

Of all the people surveyed (which was 1,000) only ONE person could list all five rights, but more than half could list at least two of the characters from The Simpsons Television show. What a joke!

According to Reuters: "Freedom of religion was recalled by 24 percent, freedom of the press by 11 percent, freedom of assembly by 10 percent, and freedom to petition for redress of grievances (right to a day in court) by 1 percent," and get this, 38% actually thought the freedom from self-incrimination (the FIFTH ammendment) was actually guaranteed by the first!

You know, I wonder if you would get the same results if you polled immigrants? Surprisingly enough, I bet they know more about this than most Americans...jeeze, talk about stupid.

Never pretend...

2006-03-01T11:59:00.000-06:00

Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
Alan Watts

Ride on Shooting Star

2006-02-28T11:55:00.000-06:00

オレンジのスライド映す空
スポンジのプライドぶらさげて

スパイダ-
生け捕ったその予感は
隠さなくたっていいんだ
色のついた夢見たいな

Ride on shooting star
心の声で散弾銃のように
唄い続けた

グランジのハムスタ-大人びて
リベンジのロブスタ- 引き連れて

スナイパ- ふちどったその世界に
何が見えるって言うんだ
狙う前に触りたいな

Ride on shooting star
キミを探して禁断症状中
嘘をついた

Ride on shooting star
心の声で散弾銃のように
唄い続けた

-----ROMANJI-----
ORENJI no SURAIDO utsusu sora
SUPONJI no PURAIDO burasakete

SUPAIDAA
kike totta sono yokan wa
kakusanakuta tte ii n da
iro no tsuita yume mitai na

ride on shooting star
kokoro no koe de sandanjû no yô ni
utai tsutzuketa

KURANJI no HAMUSUTAA otonabi de
RIBENJI no ROBUSUTAA kikijurete

SUNAIPAA
fuchi totta sono sekai ni
nani ga mieru tte iu n da
nerau mae ni sawaritai na

ride on shooting star
kimi o sagashite kindanshôjô chû
uso o tsuita

ride on shooting star
kokoro no koe de sandanjû no yô ni
utai tsutzuketa

-----ENGLISH-----
Orange slide, the sky that it reflects
Sponge's pride, being dangled

Spider
The apprehension that was caught alive
It's okay even if I don't hide it
I want to have colored dreams

Ride on shooting star
With the voice of my heart, like a shotgun
I kept on singing

Grunge hamster, be grown up
Lobster of revenge, bring it along

Sniper
I'll say, "What can you see
In that fringed world?"
I want to touch it before I aim for it

Ride on shooting star
Searching for you, and in withdrawal syndrome
I told a lie

Ride on shooting star
With the voice of my heart, like a shotgun
I kept on singing

And so it starts

2006-02-24T16:56:00.000-06:00

Looks like South Dakota has tried to place a ban on abortion in their state. Kudos to those in South Dakota, but the real test now starts with the new supreme court judge. This law will most likely go in front of the supreme court. I can't wait to see the decision.

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

2006-02-24T00:13:00.000-06:00

This video is absolutely hillarious!

ABA International Convention

2006-02-20T14:45:00.000-06:00

I might be going to this! Woo hoo!!

Calories

2006-02-07T04:50:00.000-06:00

Well, according to the BMR formula, if I was going to be a total lazy ass and literally sleep for 24 hours, my body would burn 2,411.5 calories. Fortunately for me I have class and stuff, so I burn even more walking to class, sitting up in class and taking notes, taking showers, and other stuff where I'm not sleeping. All in all this little program I got says I burned a total of 3,179 calories yesterday (I didn't do shit really, just sat around). Course the amount of calories you burn doesn't matter if you eat more than what you burn. Well, according to this program again, for all 3 meals I ate a total of 1,573 calories which leaves me with -1642 burned calories. In essence, a pound of fat is about 3,500 calories so I lost about a half a pound yesterday lol! That was much easier than I expected.

The problem is, that the skinnier you get, the less your BMR is (and the more shit you have to do to lose weight). That's okay, I just need to get started, and this is a GREAT start! It's nice to be able to see how many calories you have burned in a day, it's kinda like balancing a check book! :)

Calories

2006-02-06T11:49:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I found this cool free program to keep track of my calories and activities that I do in the day. It also tells me how many calories I need to stop eating to lose weight in a healthy way.

So here we go, I just started using it today, and basically I need to eat 770 less calories than I already am to lose 3 kg (about 6.75 pounds) in a month. Yes, I know I'm being weird and using kg instead of pounds...I like being different :) keeps people on their toes. I should reach my goal by my birthday if I keep up with this. I'll let you know how I do at the end of the day.

Shoes?

2006-02-05T23:04:00.000-06:00

I'm looking around the Nike web site to find some cool new shoes to buy (I'm tired of cheap ass shoes that always fall apart).

Check it out, here are 2 that I found so far, which ones do you like more?

Felix The Cat

2006-02-05T07:41:00.000-06:00

Click the title to see the movie in it's full glory!

Star Wars

2006-02-01T14:08:00.000-06:00

I just spent all of last night watching Star Wars with Evan. I am now officially a fan of the movies again. Now that I understand episode I and some of episode II, (I still haven't seen III, that's tonight :)) I find it SO much more interesting! We were up till 630 talking about the movies! Jeeze! I love it!

4 The Girl!

2006-01-29T06:09:00.000-06:00

This one is most definately for my girl!

How sweet it is to be loved by you!
How sweet it is to be loved by you!

I needed the shelter of someone's arms
And there you were
I needed someone
to understand my ups and downs
And there you were
With sweet love and devotion
Deeply touching my emotion
I want to stop and thank you baby
I want to stop and thank you baby
Yes I do...

How sweet it is to be loved by you!
It feels so fine!
How sweet it is to be loved by you!

I close my eyes at night,
Wondering where would I be without you in my life?
Everything I did was just a bore,
Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before
But you brightened up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
Ohhh yes!

How sweet it is to be loved by you!
It's just like sugar sometimes
How sweet it is to be loved by you!

You were better for me than I was for myself
For me, there's you and there ain't nobody else
I want to stop and thank you baby
I just want to stop and thank you baby
Ohhh yes!

How sweet it is to be loved by you!
How sweet it is to be loved by you!
How sweet it is to be loved by you!
It's like jelly baby!
How sweet it is to be loved by you!
Just like honey to the bee baby!
How sweet it is to be loved by you!
How sweet it is to be loved by you!

O' Caritas

2006-01-29T05:32:00.000-06:00

Hunc ornatum mundi
Nolo perdere
Video flagrare
Video flagrare
Video flagrare
Omnia res
Audio clamare
Audio clamare
Audio clamare
Homines
Nune extinguitur
Mund et astrorum lamen
Nune concipitur
Mali hominis crimen
Tristetat et lacrimis
Gravis est dolor
De terraeque maribus
Magnus est clamor
O caritas, O caritas
Nobis semper sit amor
Mos perituri mortem salutamus
Sola resurgit vita
Nune extinguitur
Mund et astrorum lamen
Nune concipitur
Mali hominis crimen
Tristetat et lacrimis
Gravis est dolor
De terraeque maribus
Magnus est clamor
O caritas, O caritas
Nobis semper sit amor
Mos perituri mortem salutamus
Sola resurgit vita